Its always discouraging to meet a person who, with a little guidance or direction in their early years, might have had a much better, more accomplished, much more fulfilled life.
Success so often is more a result of opportunity than talent. Mingling with people day to day remind me that there are very many bright, even brilliant people just hanging around, unemployed, or underemployed and unfulfilled. For some reason at a pivotal time in their lives they made a wrong turn, or just were not pushed in the right direction. Or--here is a big one--they became involved in drugs that kicked off addiction or associated psychological problems.
Intelligence and talent are not enough. There has to be fertile soil. Many obviously bright and very gifted people are not directed to college, or not directed to colleges that are anywhere near where their capabilities might have landed them. I meet many talented people who in school or high school received little career guidance, or never get treated for psychological problems such as anxiety or ADHD, and underachievement became the norm. When and if they do get finally diagnosed and treated, their self-esteem is damaged, they have perfectionistic and self-critical habits, are identifying themselves as non-achievers, and trudging along in a lackluster job.
Or these people with untreated ADHD have had their career choices narrowed to the type of jobs where ADHD is not an impediment--often a high adrenalin, or active, hands on job. Maybe its in construction, or a blue collar, or hospitality job requiring little schooling. There is nothing wrong with that work. Indeed, physical work or construction or many so called blue collar jobs are probably healthier physically. But one wants to choose a job rather than have it thrust upon one because there are no other choices. And those jobs are becoming scarcer.
Then there are kids who grow up in households where they have too many duties, or are not given transportation or money for extracurricular activities, the purchase of books, or pursuit of hobbies that might grow into a lifelong interest. Or they have a bully for a sibling, or a parent who regards education as a luxury or too expensive. Another career killer is a job that pays just enough, or are just enough fun (e.g., playing music) to be enticing, and take up years of a person life.
Having grown up in a family that provided many opportunities, I realize just how important guidance is. If not for parents who insisted that I study--to the point where it was not even an option not to, I might never have put in much effort. They discouraged part time work for a dismal minimal wage, they lived frugally in order to finance education, they avoided luxuries that might spoil work ethic, and oriented us kids to long range goals as opposed to immediate gain or social popularity. They or used whatever influence, skills, connections, or leverage they had to help their kids in school.
And luckiest of all was the lesson of grit. You just stay with something until you succeed. You don't have a car when you are a teen, you don't put on expensive airs, you just work like a maniac until you get what you want, and that may mean living poorly or cheaply for a while. The one who wants it most succeeds and sometimes you have to be possessed to get what you want. Because there are smarter and richer and luckier people around who will edge you out if you don't.
Every day I see people stuck--people with extraordinary abilities in arts, literature, math--who could be so much further. It seems a duty to help. Maybe give some information or direction to someone who needs it, encouragement of their abilities, some mild admonishment about their drug using habits or other unproductive habits, or even countering disinformation they have received from others.
Nothing is worse than unfulfilled dreams and regrets. Nothing is worse than knowing that you had the abilities or talents to pursue your goals, but let them languish, and that many of life's roads were never open or available, or worse, that there are many paths that, later in adulthood, you discovered and never even knew existed and missed.
Success so often is more a result of opportunity than talent. Mingling with people day to day remind me that there are very many bright, even brilliant people just hanging around, unemployed, or underemployed and unfulfilled. For some reason at a pivotal time in their lives they made a wrong turn, or just were not pushed in the right direction. Or--here is a big one--they became involved in drugs that kicked off addiction or associated psychological problems.
Intelligence and talent are not enough. There has to be fertile soil. Many obviously bright and very gifted people are not directed to college, or not directed to colleges that are anywhere near where their capabilities might have landed them. I meet many talented people who in school or high school received little career guidance, or never get treated for psychological problems such as anxiety or ADHD, and underachievement became the norm. When and if they do get finally diagnosed and treated, their self-esteem is damaged, they have perfectionistic and self-critical habits, are identifying themselves as non-achievers, and trudging along in a lackluster job.
Or these people with untreated ADHD have had their career choices narrowed to the type of jobs where ADHD is not an impediment--often a high adrenalin, or active, hands on job. Maybe its in construction, or a blue collar, or hospitality job requiring little schooling. There is nothing wrong with that work. Indeed, physical work or construction or many so called blue collar jobs are probably healthier physically. But one wants to choose a job rather than have it thrust upon one because there are no other choices. And those jobs are becoming scarcer.
Then there are kids who grow up in households where they have too many duties, or are not given transportation or money for extracurricular activities, the purchase of books, or pursuit of hobbies that might grow into a lifelong interest. Or they have a bully for a sibling, or a parent who regards education as a luxury or too expensive. Another career killer is a job that pays just enough, or are just enough fun (e.g., playing music) to be enticing, and take up years of a person life.
Having grown up in a family that provided many opportunities, I realize just how important guidance is. If not for parents who insisted that I study--to the point where it was not even an option not to, I might never have put in much effort. They discouraged part time work for a dismal minimal wage, they lived frugally in order to finance education, they avoided luxuries that might spoil work ethic, and oriented us kids to long range goals as opposed to immediate gain or social popularity. They or used whatever influence, skills, connections, or leverage they had to help their kids in school.
And luckiest of all was the lesson of grit. You just stay with something until you succeed. You don't have a car when you are a teen, you don't put on expensive airs, you just work like a maniac until you get what you want, and that may mean living poorly or cheaply for a while. The one who wants it most succeeds and sometimes you have to be possessed to get what you want. Because there are smarter and richer and luckier people around who will edge you out if you don't.
Every day I see people stuck--people with extraordinary abilities in arts, literature, math--who could be so much further. It seems a duty to help. Maybe give some information or direction to someone who needs it, encouragement of their abilities, some mild admonishment about their drug using habits or other unproductive habits, or even countering disinformation they have received from others.
Nothing is worse than unfulfilled dreams and regrets. Nothing is worse than knowing that you had the abilities or talents to pursue your goals, but let them languish, and that many of life's roads were never open or available, or worse, that there are many paths that, later in adulthood, you discovered and never even knew existed and missed.
